bet: (Bunny incredilous)
The thing I hate about writing essays for university is that I can't say whatever the fuck I want. I can only say what other people have said and so if I have an awesome idea but can't find any sources of anyone else saying it then I can't use it. No professor wants to read "But this is just a theory of mine which has not been proven and I can't find any sources for it". Even in one essay I wrote I got a mark on something that I thought was common knowledge: "Source?"

*kermit flail*
bet: (Bunny Sad)
I woke up to bunny screaming, a high pitched, repeated shriek that sounded almost like a bird. I'd fallen asleep on the sofa and I flew right off and was by Boo before I was fully awake. I thought Broddi, who sometimes teases him, was hurting him and my next thought was that he was dying. So scary, you guys! Turned out he'd gotten his remaining hind-leg caught in a fleece blanket. They'd been gnawing holes in it over time (fleece is supposed to be better for them since there are no threads, but man, it's full of holes now). He'd somehow managed to get his foot inside one of the holes and twisted the blanket until he was well and thoroughly stuck. He then proceeded in running around until it was super tight and trap-like on his foot.

I got him loose and have been keeping an eye on him. Now that his shock has passed, he seems okay. I'm constantly worried about him though. He has bad digestion, finds it hard to twist around to nom on his night poo and as a result often ends up with poo-butt. I've had to get medicine for it a couple of times when it got chronic but it still happens every so often. He also snores, a pitiful sound that every time makes me wonder if he's in pain, but he's just sleeping. I know I'm overreacting. He's eating well, he's calm and he looks fine but my heart just aches for him. He's like the Bad Luck Bunny. He's been to the vet more than I can count while my two others only went in for spaying.

Anyway. That damn blanket is going out or I might just tear it all up to put in Pip's digging box, what do you think?

Anwyay, to leave on a lighter note: Here's Boo and his "It's dinner time, I can feel it!" look. You can roughly tell time by him, I swear - probably could accurately if he wasn't such a greedy little bunny ♥

(click for bigger) It's hilarious when he does this because he'll be looking at you and the moment you look back his head comes up even higher ♥ B'aww I love my little Boo. He breaks my heart.
bet: (shock  // Shazza Blood-face)
How is the book "How to train up a child" a best seller? What the fuck, yo. Just. WTF?!?

if you don't know what's wrong with this book, check this out.

To summarize. Kids have been found dead. They were obviously abused because of this book. They may have been killed for this book. It's basically beating your kids for Jesus.

The title alone says it all. So why a best seller? Please tell me people are just being obnoxiously curious... but even so, why put money in these people's pockets? UGH
bet: (chiana & drd // come bearing gifts)
My brother is so odd. Of course he claims he doesn't know what I'm talking about but my to-do list is suddenly full of stuff. I use this handy little program called free-note, which lets me have as many little "post-its" on my desktop as I need.

Yesterday it looked like this:

Today it looked like this:

Clearly I'm going to be a very busy girl for the next month or two ^_^;;


Nov. 21st, 2011 07:04 pm
bet: (_beware the bunny)

Pip is such a lady normally, all dainty and whatnot, but sbe'll regularly just sprawl like that and it always makes me giggle. Best bunny butt ever! Another angle, but so much redeye omg... ugh.

My neighbors burned the shit out of something and it smell so gross. So now I'm freezing with my balcony door open to get rid of the smell! u_u I woke up to it too, was napping on the couch and then woke up all hyper alert and ran around the apartment sniffing at everything like a bloodhound. AUGH the SMELL!

I'm loaded with course work and need to get to doing some of it. Do not want! Alas, interrupting my flow to give you this awesome photo and assure you all I'm alive but now it's back to the grind.
bet: (patricia SH)
This video is so incredibly crazy and awesome! It's a short film called Late Bloomer, loosely based on Lovecraft's writing.
bet: (Default)

This is my voice, you guys. My voice! It averages on 221Hz.

Just thought I'd share since this is what I've been doing all night with various clips. Phonetics, woo!
bet: (Bunny: Ded o.o)
YO LJ. Not happy with you now.

My friend just posted this and since I'm lazy, you just get a copypasta

Yesterday, I logged in over at LJ, and went to edit an entry. Instead of redirecting to an edit entry, it dumped me into the log-in page, logged into an unfamiliar journal. (For logistic purposes, I was on a mac running Snow Leopard, using Firefox 7, and my LJ account type is a permanent account. I was not using LJ-Login at the time, but logging in manually, as I already knew LJ Login was borked.)

I was mostly kind of baffled at first, and clicked on the journal I was logged into, whereupon I saw their journal, including obviously locked entries. This was not a journal I had ever seen before, or should have had any permissions to read f-lock or private entries with, obviously.

I scanned the page enough to see what had happened, and the user was, I believe, Russian, but had entries in English as well. I then rapidly logged out, when I realized, and was unsettled. Not sure what had happened, I made my last entry, and then started reading around.

I logged back onto LJ, changed my password, just in case, and filed a support request. As far as I could tell at the time, that report quest was PUBLIC. As of now, it is listed as PRIVATE, but has not been responded to. I can't see anything in the public support queue about this problem, so I'm guessing that all support requests about it are being set to private by the support team/admins. (This may just be standard procedure with login/security related problems, for all I know, but I find it ANNOYING that they're hiding the problem without offering any kind of official response yet.) [E.T.A. - in comments, [personal profile] azurelunatic pointed out that as far as they knew, it IS standard to private anything security related, or requiring higher-ups to address.]


here's her entry with lots of links that tell us she's not the only one!! u.u


Oct. 23rd, 2011 10:44 am
bet: (aeryn - woah!  - farscape)
I woke up this morning to some creepy as shit wailing on speakers somewhere out there. It sounded like someone got into the alarm system and played a ghostly sound effect or some such (I think they probably have something like that here since this used to be an army base).

An hour later I read that today is supposedly the day of the rapture and guys, I got so excited!!

"Does this mean all the religious fanatic assholes are gone?"

I think I need more sleep XD
bet: (chiana & drd // come bearing gifts)
I love the show Terriers... I love gifs... u_u
Photoshop is fun to play with when you're bored...

from Terriers 102 - Dog and Pony )


Aug. 16th, 2011 04:39 pm
bet: (Default)
a bit long winded but a very good metaphor tale for privilege and how communication can backfire
bet: (Default)
I hope all you UK peeps are okay :(
bet: (frelling wormholes //chiana farscape)
I am a very lazy person, sloth all the way for me. This means that all through my years of chronic depression it's been hard to tell where my depression ends and my laziness begins which doesn't do much to make me feel any better, you know. Well, I'm usually better in the summer and I think I haven't been as good as I am this particular summer in a long time, if ever actually. It's helping me see a bit clearer that my laziness isn't nearly as horribly profound as I thought it was and that all those times I didn't want to go to school or work, or even a gathering of people of any kind, it wasn't only because I was a no good, lazy homebody. sure, that was a part of it, but for the most part, it was my illness.

I figured this out big time today. One of the women working in the kitchen told me that I wouldn't be working on Monday. My normal reaction to this should be sheer joy and while I'm happy I get to stay up late on Sunday too, my initial reaction was, "Are you guys crazy? Mondays are really busy!" I then hoped she was wrong and asked the shift manager and found out that I indeed do have Monday off. It made me fret about how everyone would be out of clean stuff by the time I got back. I'd probably work even harder if I didn't have weak and tiny feet holding up a huge body and thus I'm tired really fast and need to sit down a lot. I'm just glad it's the sort of job where I actually can do that without any hassle. I get shit done, yo.

I heard a song I really like on the radio on the way home and expletetives had been deleted. It really offended me for the following reason.

The song was Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge, a really twisted, violent and awesome song. The chorus is as follows:

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear

I want to fucking tear you apart.

Now if you're going to be bitching about this song being offensive, are you really going to tell me that the only word you have a problem with in there is "fucking"? So it's okay to tear a girl apart, as long as you don't swear while you do it? So yeah, that was basically all. That song does not offend me, it's as twisted as my twisty brain, but it offends me that people who do take offense always take offense to cursing and sex long before they even blink at violence. Fuck you, censors. You suck.
bet: (fangirl - old time slashers<3)
Had a great time at Deppo's yesterday and stayed for about 2-3 hours longer than I planned. The topics of horror and porn are just too much fun. Met a new person for my collection of awesome people, this tends to happen at Deppo's, she has good taste. Speaking of taste. OMG waffles of goodness and so much food and mrrrrr. Happiness. Takk fyrir mig, Deppo!! ♥!

Dreamt I was traveling with mom and we were kind of partying, I guess. I was bitching about how I always just wanted to take off my boobs and she asked why I didn't just go ahead and do it. It wasn't like I cared much about other people's opinion anyway anymore. I told her (what is true really) that I've never had surgery and it'd be so typical if there were complications with something so stupid...

Next dream I was living in one of my childhood homes and uh, apparently I'd had a sex-change or had removed my breasts and that somehow made me grow a dick, a teeny tiny dick. It was still healing and growing and stuff so I was careful with it and a bit weirded out by it and my brother was making fun of me for my reaction to it.

Oh brain. :3

In real life I'm still working in a nursing home, doing laundry. I really enjoy it there, you know, for mindless work and all. The staff is nice (all women, save for the occasional repair man and the sometimes-there chef). I'm all alone in the basement most of the time, just washing and folding while listening to audio books. Currently listening to The Strain and wanting to edit out some of the simile the book is overflowing with like too many flowers at a banquet. Pretty damn good though, bringing vampires back to their disgusting place instead of being romantic and glittery. Plus Ron Perlman's voice is just awesome!

When not listening to the books I regularly get the My Machines Guy from Scrubs in my head. Since I'm the hermit in the basement and all. MY MACHINES! I wonder for how long I'd have to work there to really snap like that! :3 I don't think I'll stay long enough for that so there's no cause for worry. The woman I'm covering for comes back at the end of August and then it's back to school for me! :)
bet: (fangirl - old time slashers<3)
The second short story I wrote. This one is far more random... o_O Don't ask.

'I want my braid,' the girl said simply... )
bet: (Zombie Party!)
I wrote not one, but two short stories this week. I don't know what's going on with me.

This one is a snippet inspired by 27hours and Max Brooks' WWZ ♥ (this is what I do instead of writing essays for school)

Warnings: Implied gore and so incredibly not politically correct that if you're a weeping heart - skip this one.

We are the ones keeping you safe. )
bet: (Jarl/Benson kissies<3)
I was pimping this in a discussion comm where they asked us to pimp a show and I just think it's sad not a lot of people watch this (that I know anyway).

Lost Girl!

This show is so awesome! If you guys liked Buffy and Angel at all, you should enjoy the campness of this show. It's about a succubus called Bo who grew up not knowing what she is. They didn't fall into the trap of making her all sex all the time, she's actually cute and adorable when she's not getting her sex0r on which really pleased me. Her sidekick is my girlcrush number one these days, quirky and hilarius and sexy all wrapped up into this tiny cute package. Then there's sex incarnate in the super-tall and wolfy semi-boyfriend of Bo. Just RAWR. With all the awesome extras, funny and clever writing, you really, really should be watching this show.

It basically has all I like in a show: Great characters, doesn't take itself too seriously but you still find yourself caring, funny, sexy as hell and just all around fabulous. Season 1 is complete and it has been renewed for season 2 which starts next September (I CAN'T WAIT). I want this to go on and on so everyone should watch it! Go GO GO ;)
bet: (scorpius/harvey - you must see reason)
Oh yahoo answers...

Someone asked for a recommendation for classic/epic love stories. One of the answers given? Lolita.



This week.

Jan. 12th, 2011 10:56 pm
bet: (It's a race! -DRDs)
Monday I went to town, helped grandma with the shopping and her printer, went to class, bought loads of books, snogged my nummy treat, drove around town with Tobba, went to Ikea and

Yesterday I assembled Ikea goods like a motherfucking adult with a screwdriver, tidied the place up, went shopping, cooked dinner and arranged furniture then had a TV show marathon.

Today I trimmed my hair, did lots of laundry, studied, made my brother vacuum and then ate a huge bowl of salad, nom nom nom. AND cut my brother's hair

Winter depression has NOT caught up with me yet. *marches on*

All this AND keeping up with my tags, ho yeah.

Tomorrow: Trim bunny nails, been meaning to do that all week.

Randomly, Plato was a bit of a dick and Intentional fallacy is spot on. If there is no mention of blue elephants in the text, don't make me write about the author's penchant for them. Go, go, go new criticism! /Study notes.
bet: (nikolicious)
I think at least a small group of people with gender dysphoria are girls like me. I won't speak for the boys since I don't really know much about their world experience but I can speak for the girls. Bisexual, even heterosexual girls who get lost in the gender binary, not necessarily because they are masculine or would function better as men, but because they don't associate with the heteronormativity. They refuse the gender stereotypes, all of them, the "normal" heterosexual lifestyle, the way media shows them how to behave, how to be submissive, even when they're tough, how to bitch at their friends about the evils of men when they get rejected, how they have to handle the average heterosexual man, playing by some rules to not rock the boat. All those things are still going on despite the fact it's been years since the feminist movement started. Look at adverts, romantic comedies, sitcoms. There are rules and I see them whenever I accidentally stumble into the heterosexual groups I'm somehow still connected to.

I had severe gender issues until I had a breakdown and started taking medication. I didn't really want to be a man, but I sure as hell didn't want to be a woman either. I've come to accept being a woman because I realized that being a woman didn't have to mean playing by 'their' rules. I just remember glorifying homosexual relationships because it was two men and I'm still more comfortable with writing and reading gay romance/erotica/porn because two (or more) men stand on an even ground and any imbalance of power doesn't carry with it the negative politics and worries that crop up as soon as there's a woman present.

I always kind of failed at being with heterosexual men. I didn't like playing by the rules, even the simplest ones made me feel ridiculous like playing coy and helpless. Can you help me get out of this dress? ...How the hell would I get out of it if you hadn't come home with me? Oh, that's right, I'd just reach back here and god damn unzip it myself, how about that. To be desirable, women play helpless and the media encourages this. I watched a fantastic documentary that you can watch for free online (albeit with a giant "PREVIEW" watermark over the whole screen but it's worth it). It's called the Codes of Gender and it analyzes and explains just what happened in advertisement and how women and men are displayed in the media. Also, how it was really a planned thing by one man... You can watch it here

In case you don't want to hunt this down and watch it, here are a few examples:

# When a woman is shown holding something, she never holds it fully. She barely touches it, just lightly rests her fingers against it in an "elegant" way. A man 'holds' things, he controls his environment.

# A woman is usually posed in submissive poses or off kilter. Balancing on one leg while fixing her heel, lying down, crawling. A man stands up straight, usually facing the camera.

# A woman arches her neck in a vulnerable way, almost in an inviting way as if to display herself as prey. A man usually poses with his head lowered, looking up like a predator.

# A woman is often infantilized, dressed like a little girl, sucking on her thumb or with her fingers near her mouth in a way that suggests thumbsucking. Women and little girls are often shown together wearing the same kind of clothes. There is however always a difference between a man and a boy. You become a man but a woman is always a girl.

# A woman is often shown displaying emotion but it's always exaggerated, like she can't control herself. Look at any catalogue and you'll find a woman laughing in an almost hysterical manner, mouth open wide, maybe covering her mouth partially, out of control as if to suggest a woman can not have any control. A man is always in control of his emotions.

I was stunned when I watched this documentary. Even when I began protesting that no, there are plenty of adverts that do this with men too, they had an answer to that. Yes, men have begun being diplayed in adverts lying down and almost feminized but there are reasons for it and the target audience is still men.

What do these things tell us? What kind of ideas do they plant in our heads? How do they shape our self perception? I saw so many things in that documentary that made me go, "So THAT is why this particular thing rubbed me the wrong way!" or "Oh so I was RIGHT to feel mad, even when I didn't really know what I felt mad about!"

I gained weight when I had my breakdown and at first, I did it on purpose. It drove me up the wall how I was treated when I was thin and pretty because I'd regularly run into people who somehow felt like they had some sort of ownership over me just because they found me desirable. If they didn't give me that creepy treatment, they were literally hostile toward me because I didn't behave as a young girl should. Is it any wonder that I wanted to be a boy and be loved as a boy would be loved? Note that I never wanted to be a man, I didn't like how men were supposed to be either.

I think these are among the reasons that are the root of why gender dysphoria is on the rise. I don't know how many girls I've met on the internet who are single or in semi-asexual relationships with other girls, writing gay fiction, not wanting a relationship with men even if some of them would by sexual definition be defined as heterosexual. The heteronormative has more victims than just homosexuals and transsexuals. Every heterosexual person who doesn't fit the mold gets swept aside as well. Or more accurately, sweeps themself aside to avoid the harrassment that comes with moving in the straight world.

I've never felt I fitted into any of those molds. I sometimes even doubt that I'm as pansexual as I say I am because I don't have that rawr-lust toward the female body as I do the male body. I know I AM but thinking back on when I was trying to fit in with the gay crowd, I couldn't. Maybe it was just because I've always been dysfunctional sexually, messed up and damaged but I didn't fit in with the lesbians either. Not until I met my 'dykes' anyway, but they're freakin weird as well.

Another thing? If it wasn't for a few wonderful people I know, I'd be so fed up with the whole transsexual issue. I've met so many people whose whole demeanor makes them seem like their sexual identity is more like a fetish. Like they should stick to crossdressing for kicks instead of claiming to be another gender. Hyper-feminine MTFs who behave nothing like any girl I've ever met, no matter how much of a princess. Butch little FTMs who seem more like slashers gone too far. It's sometimes easy for me to see why people roll their eyes at gender dysphoria and call it a psychological disease, if those are the only people they ever see. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying those people don't have the right to do whatever they want with their bodies as well, but at the same time it was a breath of fresh air to meet people who genuinely felt like they really were born with their bodies the wrong way. People I could never really think of as anything but their gender which really doesn't match their biological sex.

It just makes me sad that I think - actually I feel like I KNOW for sure - that so many people are going through these changes and living a certain livestyle because of these boxes society puts us in. I don't want to be loved as girls are loved, I don't want to gossip to my 'girlfriends' about men being assholes and how they can't discuss their feelings and how they are just like kids that need taking care of etc etc etc. I don't buy into it and I always feel a little sick to my stomach when I stumble into the heterosexual world. I don't belong there and yet men turn me on. I guess it's a good thing I'm happy being single.

This is rambly and maybe a bit incoherent, I just wanted to get my thoughts down before going to sleep... :3

It's a flammable material too so... if you're offended, please read more carefully. I don't think I'm being offensive and if I am it's by total accident and because I didn't finish a thought somewhere... It's five in the morning! But yeah, if you're offended, just comment and ask me about it and I'll happily talk to you about it. And stuff. Thingeys.

and wow look at that, an actual update! Love you guys, thanks for not dumping me for never updating xxxx


bet: (Default)

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